Helping a child through big life changes - Part 2 Family illness and loss of a Pet
Part 2- Family illness and loss of a Pet
Welcome back to another blog. This week, I’ll be sharing some helpful ideas on how you can help a child through various life changes that so often cause challenging emotional changes. Today I’ll be looking into support you can offer a child dealing with family illness and the loss or death of a much loved family pet.
Family illness
When a member of the family becomes very unwell, whether that be through serious illness, mental illness, or for other reasons such as addiction, these can hugely impact on the wellbeing of any child. Feelings such as overwhelm, anxiety, distress, apprehension and worry, to name but a few, often take over.
To us as grown ups, often we don’t notice a significant change in that child’s behaviour because those feelings don’t always present in the way we might expect.
Children often present as very resilient when in actual fact they are inwardly struggling. For example – it would be very normal for a child or young person to appear happy, continue playing and having fun with friends one minute and then the next become very withdrawn and isolate themselves.
Some ideas to help you through this time would be:
Keeping a behaviour diary
Reserving some daily time just for them to offer some additional reassurance and comfort
Talking them through what is going on and allowing them time to process their emotions
Teaching them that it’s ok to be upset and emotional and validating those feelings
Equally, allowing them to continue being ‘children’ and not feeling guilty for wanting to play or spend time with their friends
Loss of a Pet
Losing a pet to some of us can seem like a very normal part of life, and also to most of us when referring to a hamster or rabbit can seem somewhat trivial in the grand scheme of things. For a child however, the loss of a pet can actually be extremely difficult for them to process.
Children and young people are often not emotionally mature enough to be able to understand and process emotions such as grief. The loss of a family pet that has always been there for them can trigger a number of emotional responses. Anger, frustration, sadness and anxiety can all be a very natural response to the loss of a family pet.
Some suggestions of how you can help a child or young person to deal with that could be:
Encouraging them to build a memory book
Encouraging them to talk about their feelings
Telling them that it’s ok to be sad and validate their feelings
Putting together a photo album for them
Encouraging them to write down how they are feeling if they are struggling to open up to you
Communication is our main resource when it comes to understanding children and young people; often giving them your quality time is all they need.
Remember, If Heaven had a Postcode has a variety of memorial books, In Loving memory books and Remembrance books and I hope to complete a Pet edition in the near future.
To Purchase your copy of If Heaven had a Postcode, visit: www.ifheavenhadapostcode.com
Shipwrecked SOS
Shipwrecked: Sink or Swim is my newest book due to launch this Autumn.
A welcome break from screen time, this unique, interactive and ‘like no other’ mental health tool kit for children and young people, puts them back in control of their future.
Packed with riddles, poems and activities that actively support mental health, this ‘more than a book’ promises to offer guidance through the storm.
Addressing common challenges that parents face such as social media, screen time and peer pressure, this book promises to offer practical help in a fun and interactive way.
Dive deep to discover hidden treasures within, find their ship’s support crew and rebuild self-esteem and confidence.
When the storm hits, will they sink or swim?
Pre order your copy at: www.ifheavenhadapostcode.com
I hope this blog has helped to give you some practical self-help support when it comes to supporting a child through family illness and loss of a pet.
Remember, the If Heaven had a Postcode brand aims to offer a number of self-help support books that tackle a variety of life-stage challenges.
Whilst I’m not a qualified professional, these books have been created through my own direct experience with loss, divorce, family illness and a number of other life challenges. With a broad background in Policing, I have also seen the impact that many of these challenges have on young people and families.
As I so often stress, if your child or young person is struggling, always reach out to a professional whether that be a mental health team, Doctor or other professional.
Come back later this week for part 3.
Sending love to those that need it,
Sabrina x