How to help your child with their mental health
If you’ve landed here trying to look for answers on how to help your child with their mental health then I encourage you to keep reading. Firstly, any of the information I provide within this blog comes purely from my own direct experience and not through any specialist training or qualification.
With 16 years service in the Police, I bring a varied background of helping and supporting others through traumatic life experiences. I have seen first hand how negative life experiences can affect people. With Mental health services overloaded with people needing support, I’ll be bringing some practical advice on how to help your own mental health, as well as supporting those close to you that may have also lost their way.
Talking
One of the best forms of communication that we possess is the ability to talk. As the great saying goes ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. In the modern society that we live in, we are saturated with technology. Meaning that simple family conversations often now go a miss when your dearly loved one rushes home after school to check their mobile phone or log on to TikTok or Snapchat.
Before we know it we have completely lost that contact with them as they begin to invest their time into talking to others online. - this can be a concern in itself and I will go on to blog about internet safety in my future blogs.
But back to talking; Talking gives us the opportunity to tap into the minds of our children. It gives us the opportunity to reconnect on a personal level, showing them that we are interested in them and their feelings. Providing them with a safe space to open up about their feelings and to seek comfort in you as their role model.
With pressures of work, preparation for the next manic day ahead and younger siblings to care for, it’s never easy to find that time to talk, but we must.
Meal times
We all know how frustrating it is to try and communicate with a hangry child after a long day at School, so my advice is don’t.
Before striking up conversation of any kind, make sure they are well hydrated and have at least had a healthy snack. Symptoms of high and low blood sugar have been shown to closely mirror mental health symptoms such as irritability and anxiety. This is where diet also plays a huge part in looking after the mental health of your loved ones.
Preparing a balanced and nutritious meal to enjoy together is the perfect lead up to a heartfelt conversation with them after long day at school in particular. Mute mobile phones and turn off tablets and let the conversation flow.
Allow free talking
One of the key things I learned in my training is the importance of ‘free recall’. This is where we allow someone to speak without interjecting. Sometimes when our children open up to us, they need to make a point but often they struggle to find those words in a direct way. Free talking allows them to unload and means that we can be present in that conversation purely by listening.
Even when awkward silences arise, showing them interest and showing them that you are listening puts the ball in their court and is hugely impactful.
We can even utilise techniques where we allow the other to speak purely by holding something. pass your child a favourite toy, or inanimate object and set some rules so that whoever is holding the object gets to talk and until they pass it to you then you have to listen.
This allows us time to process exactly what they are saying and also allows us to understand what might be going on.
Seek support
It’s important to recognise when you and your child may need professional support.
So if you are in any doubt that they are struggling with their mental health then please reach out to their school and to their G.P.
With the pressures on mental health teams currently at full capacity it can be frustrating finding the right support, but if in doubt persist in your contact with them. They are the professionals and they know best.
School Support
With numerous self help books on the market it can be hard to know where to start, however School may be a good starting point for you for some ‘self help’ recommendations.
The school may even have some books in their library that they can personally recommend or lend.
Whilst engaging with any support the school have to offer, it’s important to recognise that there is only so much they can do and support has to extend to a home setting also.
Shipwrecked SOS
This year I’ll be bringing you; ‘Shipwrecked SOS’.
This ‘more than a mental health book’ is a Mental health toolkit for children and young adults that promises to keep them engaged and entertained. This cleverly adapted book, makes you the star of the show in your own disaster movie.
Young readers will embark on a voyage through the highs and lows of their own mental health. Along the way they will learn core skills that they can utilise at School or at home, learning to identify when their ship may be sinking or resetting life’s compass.
This bold and daring book will help them take back control of their life, identify their own hidden treasures, strengthen their sails and safely return their ship to shore.
Young people will be captivated by the exciting design, hidden clues, riddles and illustrations.
Parents will feel supported by the hidden help and guidance it offers, along with the activities aimed at communication with loved ones and exercises that promote personal responsibility.
Shipwrecked is being created to fill a vital need in the market that promotes personal responsibility and child mental health. I hope that it will become a favourite in family homes and teaching settings and help to support you and your child when the tide gets rough.
