Revisiting grief
With Easter having been and gone and family celebrations often being at the forefront, in this week’s blog I’d like to touch on ‘revisiting grief’. If you’d like to know more about how we revisit grief in a positive way, then read on.
No ‘one size fits all’
Like I’ve touched upon previously, life has taught me that there is no right or wrong way to cope with loss. Whilst many techniques will work for some of us, for many others we have to follow a different path. We are all individuals and process loss in our own unique way. Whilst some may possess the strength to actively engage with support, others of us simply need time to turn away from the challenges and be at one with our feelings. Know that there is no right or wrong. Sometimes it’s ok just to do what we need to do to get through.
Losing someone all over again
When dealing with bereavement it can feel like a constant uphill struggle. One minute we feel like we are making some progress and the next something will happen that makes you feel like you’ve fallen back down a well and have to start all over again. That could be receiving a letter in the post connected to that person or birthday fast approaching. Often special occasions can really hit home and the memories of losing that person seem to start all over again.
The effect on self-progress and mental health
It’s true that grief seems to come in waves, often we can feel strong and positive and enjoy life again and then suddenly a huge wave hits us and drags us back out to sea. Often reminders of ‘what was’ can make us feel like we are drowning, we lose perspective and even the very little daily tasks can become quickly overwhelming.
This in turn can hugely impact our mental health and make us feel like any of the progress previously made has been dragged from under our feet. The reality is, that’s not true. Progress is an ongoing thing that we need to keep on top of. The bad days can often also remind us of exactly how far we’ve come and it’s important to realise that we need to ride the waves of grief to sail to bluer skies.
The importance of keeping memories alive
For many of us processing the highs and lows of grief, it can be easy to turn away from frequent reminders of someone that has died. However, turning away from things we struggle to process isn’t always a positive thing and my experiences with trauma both personally and professionally have shown me that it’s important to work through them at your own pace and not avoid them altogether.
Whilst for some of us, we have the strength to talk about grief and deal with negative emotions, a lot of us may prefer a lighter approach, which could simply be keeping memories of that person alive year after year and focusing on those good times so that when reminders pop up, it doesn’t hit us in such a huge way.
Whilst we can revisit photo albums and letters and cards once written, some of us may prefer a more guided approach which is why I created; ‘if Heaven had a postcode’
If Heaven had a postcode
if you’ve not heard about my best-selling book; If Heaven had a Postcode and you have lost someone special then I encourage you to take a look. Now being utilised in professional health and school settings, If Heaven had a Postcode is a memorial book with a difference. it allows us to keep the memory of a much-loved person alive and also assists by keeping them part of our seasonal routine moving forward, encouraging the writing of letters, the planting of memorial seeds and cherishing special memories throughout the seasons.
If Heaven had a Postcode promotes regular contact with our own emotions and memories of that person that build a lasting loving tribute to them and keep their memory alive always. Keeping in contact with those special memories can help to prevent feelings of overwhelm when birthdays and painful reminders come up. Involving relatives and children can also strengthen family bonds and promote the sharing of happy memories together.
Check out If heaven had a Postcode at the link on the bottom of this page.
Shipwrecked SOS
My new book Shipwrecked SOS is a complete mental health toolkit with a difference. Aimed at children and young people, this clever book can also be appreciated by adults. Shipwrecked SOS takes you on a voyage through the highs and lows of life, utilising proven techniques to help self-manage your emotions and promote self-healing and recovery.
Packed with engaging activities, riddles, uplifting poetry, illustrations and surprise envelopes which can be revisited when times get tough, this complete mental health adventure journal will keep you on track and sailing towards bluer skies.
If you or your children are suffering with the highs and lows of grief and need some practical guidance and self-help tips then Shipwrecked SOS could be the perfect accompaniment to If Heaven had a Postcode. You can pre-order your copy via the following link:
If Heaven Had a Postcode - The only memorial book you’ll ever need to remember a loved one